He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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