I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
