It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
