420 ftw
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
