just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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