How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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