I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
