I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
