I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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