I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
