So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
