Do you still have your period?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
