no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
