he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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