But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
