It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
there is puke in my bra ... again
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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