On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
