dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
