I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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