Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
