that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
