Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
