omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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