Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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