I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
