Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
