There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
