Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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