A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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