omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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