I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
zippers are such a cool invention
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
