So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
