I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
