Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
