I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
