Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Alive.
So much puke
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
