Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
