If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
