Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
