We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
