CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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