For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
