Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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