Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
