ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
