If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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