why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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