By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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