wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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