i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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