I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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